Silencing The Little Bitchy Gremlin

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Hello fellow Hunters! Often times I find myself looking down the well of self-doubt. It’s not a view of myself I am most proud of but it happens from time to time. For me it usually comes when I finish writing one of my short stories or when I am about to perform on stage.  That is when that nagging little voice speaks the loudest.

The voice I so lovingly dub “THE LITTLE BITCHY GREMLIN!”

Now this gremlin will take his/her horn, hold it up to my ears and  whisper soothing words like, “you suck,” “you will never make it,” “you’re not talented enough,” “you will never attain your goals,” ” you’re too young for this or too old for that.” Oh and my favorite,” put down those Girl Scout Thin Mints or you will start to resemble Borat in a lime green bathing suit”!

Although, my bitchy little gremlin might have a point on the Thin Mint topic, I have learned how to drown out its wicked little banter.

First, neutralize the negative thoughts by infusing them with inspirational words. No, I am not talking about going all Viola Davis from “The Help” chanting (in my best southern accent) You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important”… Unless that’s what floats your boat. Then have at it. Instead I take a deep breath and repeat the phrase “I choose my happiness, my doubt is based on fear not fact and I release it.”  Then I think of all the things both past and present, that inspires me and made want to become a writer and a dancer…Then I smile!

Lastly, I put on my playlist called “Feel Good Music (sorry no creative name there)” in my iTunes library. These are all the songs that either makes me want to immediately jump up and dance or the words inspire me to keep on moving.

I encourage you to find those few things in life that will keep you revved up and passionate about your journey towards your goals, in other words, capture your own little butterfly.

Here is a sneak peek of my playlist.

1. Summer sun – Koop
2. Closer to my dreams – Goapele
3. Coming Back Around – Pete Simpson
4. Empire State of Mind – Alicia Keys and Jay – Z
5. Breathe – Telepopmusik
6. Journey – Don’t Stop Believing (best karaoke song!)
7. Run the World (Girls) – Beyoncé
8. Love and Happiness – La India (version)
9. Feeling Good – The Quantic Soul Orchestra Feat. Alice Russell
10. Don’t Stop Dancing Girl – Kaskade Feat. Haley

Bonus: Ride to California ~ Paper Tongues (I am obsessed with this song)

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…

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I know… I know… you don’t have to say it! I have been gone too long! Please accept my deepest apologies my fellow hunters. The Huntress has been busy networking and building connections for my upcoming book. Unfortunately, I had to take a step back from the blog to chase some literary butterflies. But have no fear I am back with new adventures and more witty banter! Stay tuned for fresh posts that would make you go hmmm…

I have received a few emails of people telling me that they do not know how to follow my blog. Well it’s easy! All you have to do is look at the right side of the blog and click the “Follow” button. Please pass my blog on to your friends, family or enemies! Heck all are welcome into fold. 🙂

Until we meet again! Keep chasing your dreams!

12/3 Soul Quench

Every now and again my soul get’s thirsty for a little bit of inspiration to quench my spiritual thirst.  So I thought it would be a good idea to start sending out a weekly blast of inspiration that helps me keep a smile on my face and peace in my heart!  Hopefully, you will also find it helpful on your life journey.

This weeks Soul Quench comes from Hans King. Please take the time to read his amazing words on the pursuit of Happiness. 🙂

“Karma will never stop the possibilities of your joy. It will never stop the possibilities of experiencing life.”
~Hans King

We all strive for it. It is considered one of the single most desirable things in life, and, yet, it so very often eludes us. It is, in fact, so coveted that we have even incorporated it into our national lexicon. “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” is the dream that we here have all grown up with. So why is it that this golden promise seems, at times, to be withheld from so many of us? Henry David Thoreau wisely said, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

Centuries ago, Aristotle observed that “Happiness depends on ourselves.” We can push it away, delay it, or embrace it. It costs us nothing, and asks only for our acceptance. When, as Thoreau said, we busy ourselves with the callings of life—and particularly with those things which fulfill and nurture our inner beings—happiness quite naturally unfolds before us. This is no earth-shaking secret, it is simply a law of Life.

Sometimes, however, we get off track. Sometimes we require outside help in learning how to reclaim our joy. This is nothing to be ashamed of, for we have all fallen into those periods of desperation and longing. It is in staying there that we fall short. We, as creations of the Divine, are meant to experience happiness. It is the answer to an innate and deeply held need within everyone of us. Make no mistake—it is our right, it is our calling, and it is waiting to make us whole.

A Fist Full of Brownies

Have you ever had the strong urge to do something naughty? I am talking about the urge to do an act so out of your comfort zone that at that very moment you did not care of the consequences. Well for me the answer is yes! And my impulse urge that I acted upon is called “a fist full of brownies.”

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It was Monday evening and I had arrived home after a long day at work. And all I wanted to do was come home and decompress. So I started my evening ritual of fixing my dinner (which usually is compiled of the past few days of leftovers or takeout) and sitting down on my big comfy chair while watching a few shows on Hulu. Everything was going according to plan until something started to swirl inside of me.  It started out with a thought, then a sensation and ended with an urge.

The urge was to shove a fist full of brownies in my mouth!

I tried resisting this urge. I tried to ignore its cry. I drank water, chewed gum I even went online to my social network for support but the calling was too strong. I got up from my chair walked into the kitchen and opened my cabinet slowly; hoping that there was no brownie mix or any ingredients of that nature to be found. Once the cabinet door was completely opened I began to hear an angelic chorus burst out from the shelves, there was a bright light coming from one of the boxes as if it was the Holy Grail. And for me it was! It was a box of Ghirardelli brownie mix winking at me, seducing me with the promise of chewy gewy chocolate goodness. It played on my weakness, I answered its call, and resistance was futile. I preheated the oven to 350 and well…you know the rest.

After the blissfulness of that brief experience had ended I looked over at the pan of leftover brownies and all urges had vanished.  I wanted them out of my sight, the urge was gone, and I was done. I took the remaining brownies and threw them in the trash.

The next day I thought about me succumbing to my urge. I questioned myself why I would shove a fist full of brownies into my mouth? It was from that simple question I received a simply answer, it was for the experience.

The simple experience of slowly chewing a mouthful of fudge brownies (don’t judge), nothing more and nothing less. Yes, I could have tried harder to say no, I could have put up photos of girls in bikinis on the cabinet to remind myself that summer was fast approaching and I did not want to look like Orca on the beach. I could have done a lot of things but the reality is I made a choice to have that experience.

Sometimes I wonder if that is what life is all about. If life is made up of a series of choices in order for you to have the experiences that your soul needs to learn a lesson, to grow or to progress to the next level of your life cycle. That there is no right or wrong answers there is only choice. And the right or wrong aspect comes into play when you involve morals and rules. Please don’t get me wrong, with every choice that you make it comes in a package deal along with something I like to call “consequences.”

The topic of consequences is something I would like pick your brains about but I will save that for another time when we can discuss it around the old water cooler. For now I will bid you adieu and thank you for taking the time out to read my dribble!

🙂 Feel free to post questions, comments or if you remember a time where you felt the urge to have an experience and the choices that you made.

Just a little inspiration to get you thinking!

1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
2. Dear God: I have a problem. Sometimes, it’s me.
3. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
5. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. Faith is the ability to not panic.
8. Laugh every day, it’s like inner jogging.
9. If we worry, we probably didn’t pray. If we pray, we probably don’t worry.
10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
11. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
12. The most important things in our homes are the people.
13. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knots for us.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. And who knows where he has gone?
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until we experience it, otherwise it’s just hearsay.
18. It’s all right to sit on our “pity pot” every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living our life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams we seek require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle — it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
~ Author Unknown

STAY READY!

It’s funny how the Universe sends us messages in unexpected ways!

Not too long ago I was walking down the escalator at Macy’s and I noticed a mom walking with her son; the only reason I noticed the pair was because the son was wearing a nice hat that I would not mind owning myself. After giving his fashion statement an internal seal of approval, I turned my head and did not give it a second thought. A few seconds later I asked my friend to walk with me one block away to Mrs. Fields cookie’s aka the store that will keep me from my summer bikini mission! Hell, who am I kidding?! It’s the store that has kept me from my summer bikini mission! I digress! As we were walking towards the store with the chocolate goodness inside; I overheard a woman in a very stern voice say, “If you are already ready then you don’t have to get ready.” Wow! I thought to myself I have not heard that phrase in a long time. As I was internally agreeing with that statement it brought me back to the very first time that I heard it.

I was watching one of my favorite movies, The Pursuit of Happiness! As I was watching the special features on the DVD one of the actors commented on Will Smith’s work ethics. Will Smith always came to the set totally prepared knowing his lines, in character, and ready for the scene that was going to be shot for the day. The actor always admired this about Will Smith and inquired how come he is always prepared? Will Smith responded by saying, “If you are already ready then you have don’t to get ready”. Wow! What an amazing analogy. Other than the Pursuit of Happiness being an excellent movie about perseverance I also took away from it a great affirmation to live by as well.

Now back to my pursuit of Mrs. Fields, I mean back to the story at hand. As my friend and I were approaching our destination, my brief trip down memory lane was interrupted by the same woman’s voice this time in repetition saying, “Stay ready, Stay ready, Stay ready.” This went on for at least a minute. As my friend and I were walking into Mrs. Fields she repeated her previous statement again by saying, “If you already ready then you don’t have to get ready.”

I turned to see who it was and it was the same mother and son duo from Macy’s. My friend looked at me and said, “I wonder what she was talking about?” But I was thinking more on the lines of who the message was for? If this message was meant for me, my friend or both of us then what was coming our way that we needed to get ready or even stay ready for? I started to wonder are we ready for our deepest wishes to be answered? Are we prepared to receive the very thing or things that our hearts have wished for?

Often times we want, pray and work towards specific things that we would like to have in our lives. Whether its children, a loving relationship, a new job, a new home or even a new car. But are we preparing ourselves to receive these gifts?

MMMMM……. THINKING, THINKING, THINKING

I will end this little chat stew right here! But until we meet again do me a favor and ponder the above questions and see if they fit into the context of your own lives. Let me know if you have an AHA moment or a WTF response! Either way share I would love to hear from you!

Queen Alice!

I hope you enjoy my little post. It was written at the start of the New Year. Although there is no longer snow on the ground; I want you to imagine that there is and get lost with me in wonderland!

The first blizzard of 2011 covered my new city with such a fierce creativity that I had no other choice but to stop and admired its artistry. Walking 6 blocks home in a foot of snow would have made me the Grinch of the New Year but this time I enjoyed the slow movement I was making. Funny, I thought to myself, “I love walking this way”. This new way of walking slow and steady, completely aware of where I was going and enjoying the journey! Could it be that the older you get the wiser you become? In my opinion that is not necessarily true. I do know and have known some undoubtedly rude and belligerent older humans. But in defense of myself; wiser is what I am becoming. In less than a month I will be celebrating 30 something (you thought you were going to get me! I’ll never tell!) of the most craziest, fun, sad, confused, erotic, embarrassing, wondrous, adventurous, life altering and a few FUCKED up years of life on this planet. But yet in still I smile and I am welcome with open arms my new badge of honor. With my new badge I will be allowed access to any adventure I damn well please!!!!!! In fact, it was nine years ago when my current adventure started. It was in the year 2002, when I moved to my new city and instantly took on the role of Alice in Wonderland. I was thirsty upon my arrival I came across a most peculiar bottle. It was ornate in nature and deceptively similar of something that I have once sampled before. It had a cute little note attached to it that read, “DRINK ME”! So I did! needless to say, I became too small.

Working through my vertical challenge with each passing day I became strong and in 2004 hungry for change. It was then I found a piece of candy that said, “EAT ME”! So I did! My growth was evident to me and everyone around me. I was being complemented daily on how much I had grown. I became too large for the petty and mindless situations that would have previously consumed me. When 2006 blew through me like a breath of fresh air. Something strange occurred! I switched roles. I became the rabbit! Yelling I AM LATE! I AM LATE! Running down crowded city blocks to reach my next destination. The hustle and bustle of my new city had now become my daily routine and I loved it! Now, my friends the switch has happened yet again. It’s 2011 and albeit the year of the rabbit. I have assumed the role of ALICE once more! This time I have gone through the Looking Glass. This year I anticipate meeting the great Humpty Dumpty, walking through the garden of live flowers, hearing the great poem of the “JABBERWOCKY” and last but not least crowned Queen Alice! I write all this to say find your adventure in 2011! Assume the roles of your greatest childhood heroes and heroines and ignite your imagination!

DISCLAIMER

DISCLAIMER: Reading this blog will induce extreme amounts of common sense as well as an innate sense of purpose. The names of the people on this blog have been change for a few reasons:

ONE: Half the people who I mention I know and consider my friends and would like to continue to do so.

TWO: The other half of the equation have received name changes due to the fact or should I say my belief, that they are total douche bags and I would not glorify their existence by giving them acknowledgment on my blog other than to highlight their stupidity and use them as examples of what NOT to do. Oh wait!! This blog is geared towards a little enlightenment and spirituality! In that case I should not have said that! Let me rephrase. What I meant to say is that the other half of the equation have received name changes due to the fact that they are spiritual beings who have not yet seemed to grasp the concepts of compassion, patience, humbleness, courage or understanding and live currently within their shadow self and at times can be total douche bags!

There will be various kinds of humor used to get my point across such as dry, sarcastic, slap stick, and slightly naughty! I only ask that you have a quick wit and an uncanny sense of humor when reading this blog. If you do not have wit or sense of humor I encourage you to get one soon or you will be totally lost not only in reading this blog but in life! May I add … significantly disappointed!

Albeit this is a somewhat philosophical and spiritual blog there will be some occasional profanity. Why you ask? Well, it’s simple. Because I curse and although I am trying to eliminate certain words from my vocabulary as I proceed on my road to enlightenment. I am just not ready to eliminate shit, f@ck and dammit or WTF. Maybe I will give them up next year for Lent!

If you are reading this blog and come to the conclusion that I am a perfect a human being. And I am here to give you all the answers to the universe. I would like to say thank you, flattery will get you absolutely everywhere with me. However, at the risk of gravely disappointing you, it is my duty to inform you that I am not perfect, but rather I am here merely trying to perfect.

At the end of the day! Just laugh and enjoy this bumpy ride called LIFE!